WHO IS AN ACCOUNTANT, WHAT DO THEY DO

AN ACCOUNTANT IS......

*LIKE A MIDWIFE:

An accountant deliver babies (SUBSIDIARIES)

*LIKE A CREATIVE ARTIST:

An accountant create business unit (INCORPORATION)

*LIKE AN EXAMINER:

An accountant examines and expresses opinion on true and fair view (AUDITING)

*LIKE A DOCTOR:

An accountant heal by giving creative medicine (RECONSTRUCTION AND CAPITALISATION)

*LIKE A COUNSELLOR:

An accountant advice his client (CONSULTANCY)

*LIKE A REGISTRAR:

An accountant joint business in marriage (AMALGAMATION)

*LIKE AN UNDERTAKER:

An accountant helps to bury dead business (LIQUIDATION)

DO IT LIKE A LAWYER

Do lawyers really complicate simple matters?

A Professor stepped into a law class and threw an orange at one of his students and said "Give it as a gift to any of your friends now".

The boy said to one of his friends: "Tee, I give this orange to you as a gift".

The Professor gave him a stern look and said: "Like a lawyer!!!”

Immediately, the boy straightened up, cleared his throat and began:

"I, Stanley Omerfield, adult, male of M16 Stapley Drive, hereby with all intent and purposes, wilfully give unto you, Messrs Theodore Billings of Creepton Street, this citrus with its skin, seeds, segments,  juice and supple innings that you may exercise actual and proprietary rights thereon, to hold unto same as a gift, a bequest, an endowment validly so transferred, given out, bequeathed, alienated, assigned, that you may eat, lick, devour, suck, make juice out of, munch or grant, give out, devolve, alienate in your rightful capacity as the owner either in actual, virtual or constructive capacity of an agent or attorney as may be chosen by you, that the said citrus may be treated in the aforementioned ways or other ways not so listed but not as a weapon to be thrown at persons or animals with malicious intent to hurt, inflict pain or serve as an incendiary action to incite unrest of any kind, but that the said citrus may be used in such beneficial capacity or simply be destroyed in such exercise of legal and equitable ownership as may be fit by the beneficiary of this bequest".

Just to give an orange to someone??